Just a thought: Perhaps you could guide the viewers and help them absorb the meaning of the whole piece better by suggesting them an ‘order’ of viewing: it’s quite cool, for instance, to see “duelity” first, and then watch each view (creationism & evolution) right after, separately.

Good luck in future projects!

This is definitely something I’ll be talking about.

Please keep in mind that my first assumption is that you are not attempting to explain, root for, or otherwise say anything too unusual about either worldview. Obviously neither side is presented accurately, even in the first few seconds, and that is part of the artistic charm here.

That being said, MOST of the messages that could possibly be taken from an artistic work LIKE this would almost REQUIRE one of two types of scripts:

–A “parallel” script, in which the events happen at roughly the same time. The “parallel” nature of the script would allow the narrators to essentially tell the *same* (read: not “similar,” the “same”) story in different ways. This could allow for any number of readings, depending on the chosen narration.

–A time-line accurate script, wherein important events are contrasted and the incredible differences between stories are highlighted.

Now, the time-line accurate script was not your choice, and you decided instead to give the work some meaning by choosing a particular narrative style for each “side.” OK. Great.

Unfortunately, it seems as though you couldn’t stick with the parallel nature of the script you chose. We have, for example, trees growing on the left side, while comets hit the right (something that I would expect to see in a time-line accurate work). We have stars being created on the left while fish are swimming in the right.

If this were a book, I’d be incredibly disappointed with both author and editor. And, as visual artists, once you add in any kind of actual narration, you MUST hold yourself to the same standards kept by artists of the written word. It is absolutely silly not to, and it lowers the impact of your other contributions.

It isn’t enough to have a wishy-washy “oh the events are kinda happening in synch, and listen to our cute narrators!” approach. I have an idea of the message you were ATTEMPTING to send, but *I don’t get your actual message,* because I am too distracted by the botched parallelisms. Tightening up the script would have fixed this considerably.

Final word: I think this thing is about 2 years old, so I am sure you’re on to bigger and better things. That being said, I hope that bigger and better things includes some clearer and more clever narration.

Sorry, but though the animation is lovely and the twist is cute, the script encouraged me to stop watching.